


Unselfish

by Nagisa



Category: Yami No Matsuei
Genre: M/M, Monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2013-11-18
Packaged: 2018-01-01 23:37:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nagisa/pseuds/Nagisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsuzuki's thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unselfish

Do you know what it's like to want something you think you can never have, and then suddenly find yourself filled with it?  
  
Since that day, long ago, I knew there was something special in that simple presence, the very first time I looked into those eyes I could feel it.   
Of course, there was rejection, and that overwhelmed everything. The sense of "I'm only here because I _have_ to be" - it was screamed from every cell of his being. And yet, even as we argued and fought, sulked and ignored, tantrumed and cried, even then I knew there was something special.   
  
"I want" and "I need". These were things I pushed deep down inside myself. I never wanted to be seen that way to anyone, but he saw it. He saw everything about me that I wanted to hide, and somehow I know that it's only because I _wanted_ him to see it.   
I wanted to plead to him, and reach out to him, and beg him to make me happy, because I knew he could - but that was selfish...   
  
Little did I know that he felt the same way until the day he showed it to me. From deep within his soul, he let me see everything he wanted and needed - and it was me.   
And my own dirty soul reached out to his of pure white and screamed, "I want" and "I need". And his answered, "I am yours".   
  
All it took was one moment, and I was filled with a happiness I'd always thought I'd never achieve. Do you know what that's like? It's like holding a piece of heaven in your hand, and watching it melt like a snowflake, slowly, but beautifully. You know it won't last forever, but that one moment is everything to you. Your life is contained within that small part of time, but you never regret that it was so fleeting, because the beauty of it was enough to last a million lifetimes.   
  
I felt that, even deep within my self-pity and self-inflicted pains. It gave my hiding heart butterfly wings, and a new light with which it could be unafraid to face the world again.   
Only one moment, "I want" and "I need", pleas exchanged within the inferno and answered desperately from the depths of our very existances. Do you know what that's like?


End file.
